LwEi’s World

7 Most Commonly-Used Utterances (in order of likely frequency):

1. mmm – used at regular intervals when the other party seems engaged in a monologue, usually as an assurance to her that you aren’t already asleep or engaged in other more interesting activities.

2. yeah – usage similar to that of above

3. mmm-hmm – used when a) the other party needs encouragement to speak what’s on her mind. b) when you don’t want to appear bored by grunting ‘mmm’s and ‘yeah’s all night long. c) when the other party suspects that u’re bored since it makes you sound more engaging than the typical grunt.

4. uh-huh – usage similar to that of the above but useful to add variety to the monologue such that you appear to be a better listener.

5. oh yeah – used to emphasise that you already heard that certain information from her at some point in time, thereby proving that you’re a good listener. Even more effective when coupled together with the details of the time and place she last said it to you. Saying it with a smile typically makes you sound more engaging.

6. hmm – used to give yourself an additional 2 seconds or so to give an opinion when she asks for it. Very useful in creating the impression that u’re thinking hard to offer a good solution or suggestion and buying time to do so. Minimizes the chance of long pauses and hence awkwardness in the conversation (or rather monologue).

7. (insert laughter) – used when she recounts an anecdote which is vaguely meant to sound amusing. Especially necessary to create the impression of similarity should that be one’s wish. Note: Fake-sounding laughter can be detrimental to the ensuing conversation.

Of course, a conversation cannot be made up of one party’s monologue and another party’s occasional utterances, so it is essential to stock up with longer phrases which seem to mean something but actually don’t, in the case that one is really tired and no longer able to think of anything meaningful. Examples include :

1. I totally agree with your point of view/ perspective/ where you’re coming from.

2. Wow, that was really insightful. I wouldn’t have thought of that myself.

3. Really? I couldn’t agree with you more.

4. I totally can’t believe he did that to you! (fake hysterical tone)

5. For better effect in using the above, use them after rephrasing her previous statement, thereby proving that you’re not blindly saying things you committed to memory. Note: Using the above statements wrongly in response may again be detrimental to the conversation.

From personal experience and other’s recounting of their own, I have realized that guys typically lie on their side of the bed and try to catch some winks during monologues, such that it isn’t totally a waste of time. However it may not be effective when it occurs during your alert hours. Thereby it is important to control the timing of phone conversations such that it fits your sleeping hours.

In the case where the above is not possible, most guys tend to want to multitask. Note the use of the ‘want to’ in the previous sentence. Most of them simply can’t. I have since abandoned trying to chat online and on the phone at the same time, for somehow the other party always senses that I’m trying to make full use of my time and am not giving her full attention. Watching TV at low volume is only fine when you’re not required to participate much in the conversation. My personal favourite is mindless yet productive activities like working out with my dumbbells and such.

However, in cases where the other party gives you stuff like ‘helllooo?’ or ‘are you listening?’ or a diplomatic ‘are you feeling tired/sleepy?’, it is evident that one’s got to focus on the task at hand for at least 10 minutes. After which, one can continue with whatever you were doing prior to that.

But lest anyone who’s spoken to me on the phone is reading this, I would like to emphasise that this is by no means the norm. Usually I’m quite happy to accommodate/ listen to other’s problems, being a strong believer in karma, and one whom has been fortunate enough to have dear friends to offer a listening ear to in times of need. They lifted me up from inexplicable depths when I was really emotionally down or lonely, and now I realize the need to reciprocrate and continue the cycle of mutual support and help.

Of course, it’s not all about the noble causes and such, being a rational person and such who doesn’t sit staring at the phone all the time hoping for it to ring. I really enjoy listening to stories and recounted experiences, and talking to certain people about anything under the sun. Even in those cases, I do use the phrases and such mentioned above, but with emotions attached to them, and with a feeling of connectivity with the other party. The difference may be minute for most people, but I do believe that those I consider friends understand where I’m coming from.

Do believe me when I say I’m truly listening and care about what you’re feeling, for I don’t lie, not even on the phone. I’m quite incapable of the latter, by the way J 

dear fellow flaggers

juz read the posts by yilynn, mui^2 and thyeheng, whilst searching for past info in compiling the KG report, as the constant activities and meeting up then made the checking of yahoogrps redundant in a sense. so i guess this last post of mine wun be seen by many of u there and tt’s why i’m putting it on my blog

it’s been a long 2 weeks after the initial exhilaration of winning set in, and so i can safely say i tt i realli miss most, if not all of you, and the times we spent together. and i regret not having joined Flag earlier, nor being able to join in the crunch time before FWOC started due to exams. trust me, even though it may not be obvious, it was realli the happiest period of my hall stay thus far and definitely my most constructive hols so far. the friendships formed with all, and a certain few in particular, have been my best in hall thus far.

realli have to thank thye heng for that; i was jokingly indicating interest in joining flag after the exams to angeline, and u immediately followed up with a lengthy call to me abt the reasons i should join and what it all entailed. i was convinced, and indicated tt i was willing to help as a invisible member as and when i could (not entirely due to yilynn, btw), but then u happily announced tt i was an official member on yahoogrps and tt was how it all started. that first day with vincent gan and the car insurance seems like so long ago now.

IC with thye and josh where we got negative (lol) collections. planning for KG and logistics with vic in his rm whilst discussing WoW. KGs with jack/dilys a.k.a chang&eng who keeps reminding me abt my ’swimming everyday, since ytd’ quote. the KG recce with vic & mui^2 who said i looked shy and demure then later told me to shuddup cos i was saying too much non-shy and demure stuff. angeline and josh with ‘mr thomas’. liwei, yilynn and michelle in the MPSH when the freshies moved in and we were writing and drawing dumb stuff on their slips. zhijian & josh who amused me with jokes and quips throughout the counting. yilynn for further amusing me with her magnetic tendency to be verbally abused by others for being m’sian, horrible counting n e orange "Kenny" jacket amongst others. mingjun and e free bubble tea. shiyun for being such a thoughtful ’sis’ throughout. chwan sang and his ‘chipmunky’ face and constant suan-ing of yilynn. josh, xiaowei, angeline during the ‘i bid 5 clubs’ incident. and the long, long list goes on..

thanks to all of you for helping out tirelessly for the KG which i realli enjoyed planning and typing long posts for. and for contributing to the many wonderful memories i’ve had in Flag for the past 3 months. be seeing u pple ard

cheers forever

ShawN

Finally the Dating Game is over. I no longer have to expend effort on getting the other party small gifts nor leave stuff at her door. I no longer have to design cards and write on it cutesy stuff with my vast assortment of coloured glittery pens so as to brighten up her day. However I will also lose the sense of anticipation of seeing cards or whatnot at my door. But it was wonderful while it lasted .

On the final day of the event we were supposed to dress up formally and pick up the girl at her door ard 6pm for a mass organized dinner with performances and such. And thus began the most frantic 2 hrs of late. Ended lessons and reached hall ard 4, to realize I hadn’t bought ANYTHING for my date. Worse still, I had omitted to bring my formal belt and my pants (from JC time) were plummeting at any given time.

So I gathered 3 male freshies from my block that were similarly unprepared and we took a taxi to Vivo. Were literally running about getting chocs, flowers, soft toys, gifts and such. And the belt was a damn hassle given I already had belts of my own and din want to get a costly one at Zara. Usually I take my time shopping and get the item I really want but this time was a gross exception. Finally got back around 6, got prepared in 10 mins (guys are so fortunate) and rushed over to my date’s room in the other block.

And when we got to the meeting place with another couple, it was apparent from the milling crowd that the event was gg to start late. So after taking a few photos of us she disappeared for 5 mins to take photos with her friend, during which I was forced to joke that Rachel went after both me and Ezekiel hence the 2 guys 1 gal combination. And so when she came back I borrowed her camera and happily scooted off to do the same with the many cute gals around the area. I swear I could feel her exasperated gaze on me during the whole process.

During the dinner I played the part and constantly paid attention to her and served her food. And also took pictures of the dishes as she had requested. And she constantly amused me with digs at how inadequate a date I was and kept serving me inedible stuff like bones or such. Once when she mentioned I hadn’t taken photos of the previous 2 dishes, I replied that I would make up for it by taking something more aesthetically pleasing. She agreed readily. And I proceeded to take a photo of myself.

I must say, the entire experience has been a totally enjoyable one indeed.

Went out recently to watch the Thai movie, Alone; no, I don’t watch movies without company. Found it amusing how me and josh actually convinced xiaowei that it was a family comedy in the mould of Home Alone, and that she was actually so gullible as to believe us. At the movie theatre, we even positioned ourselves subtly and cracked lame jokes to distract her from the gruesome poster depicting that very movie behind us, whilst angel was getting the tickets.

During the movie, I thought it unfortunate for her that she was seated between us. Even though she was cowering and covering her eyes every moment or so, we made sure she was updated on the proceedings sufficiently throughout. During a certain scene where the main character heard heavy breathing behind her but always saw nothing when she turned around, we made sure to emulate the heavy breathing in her direction. Surround sound, indeed.

Went to the arcade thereafter. When I suggested playing the cutesy bishi-bashi game, angel and xiaowei happily acquiesced, commenting aloud that they could humiliate me in one area finally. I think I won about 13 of the 15 games hands down. Oh wells. Just goes to show that appearances are deceiving indeed. But seriously, I have yet to find anyone who can come close to my timing for the flower-growing component of bishi-bashi where u’re supposed to mash 2 buttons as fast as possible to aid the plant’s growth. I doubt I’ll be playing it much tho when I become a teacher after graduation. Haha.

Glutton’s Bay beside the Esplanade had some great-tasting food, the hokkien noodles being one of them. Thought it was one of the best I’ve tried thus far. But they really should consider helping to peel the prawns before serving as it’s rather troublesome to have to do so oneself. The stingray and satay were tasty but nowhere close to exceptional.

Then spent the remaining time in hall playing bridge till morning, during which they had a good laugh at my expense as I just started to learn how to play that very night. And I had to take pictures for the beach event later at Sentosa. I really should have catched a few winks. But luckily I wasn’t exactly shagged out thereafter and my pictures turned out fine.

Quite an eventful day, I must say.

It’s upsetting that things don’t turn out as they’re expected to be. Checked my results for my special semester exam moments ago and it would suffice to say that I stared at the screen in dismay for a considerable period of time and was left in a depressed mood thereafter. And to think I had high hopes for the coming semester to be active in hall activities, to take up leadership roles and even specially set aside a free day in my timetable for dance, guitar and bowling.

The cumulative system employed in the calculation of the final results has ensured that I’ll have to do ridiculously well to obtain my 2^nd upper in the end. In fact, so well that I don’t see any way I can achieve it save for relentless studying and forsaking a meaningful varsity life. At times, I’m tempted to just do enough to fulfil my scholarship requirements.

It’s a good thing that I’ve been kicked into the conscientious mood even before school reopens, but the cost was tremendous indeed. From prior experience, it’s likely I’ll be tempted to just focus on studies, keeping fit and hanging out only with those who matter. But then again, I’ll have to weigh my priorities; if doing the above would prove most beneficial to myself, I’ll gladly do so even if my heart tells me it’s not what it truly desires.

The one-week hall orientation is finally over. Wasn’t as active as I had hoped to be due to various commitments. But I did enjoy the cheering, the activities, the mingling and obviously the babe-ogling. Especially memorable was a warped version of Captain’s Ball called Captain’s Chicken. As the name suggests, the object being hurled around was a chicken. A raw and featherless one, at that.

It was amusing at the start to observe the squeamish expressions on the freshies’ faces, but I was soon grimacing and feeling unwell myself when the poor animal was accidentally dismembered and occasionally split into separate pieces in mid-air. I swear I felt the disgust welling up within me culminate in a thunderous wave at a point when the chicken plummeted onto the ground from high above with a horrendous splat, as no-one was able to catch it.

I must say the highlight of the entire orientation would be the Dating Game, where freshies would write letters, pass gifts to and perform in public to vie for their chosen seniors’ attention and eventually hope for their acceptance. Obviously, I wasn’t open to the idea of having no one attempting to date me, however I could do nothing about it this time, being a senior and all.

Was pleasantly surprised when I came back from dance the other day and this freshie approached me near my door. Apparently she had noticed me since Day 1 and wanted to date me but circumstances that day forced her to do otherwise – peer pressure had made her choose someone by dinner that day cos I wasn’t around the whole day. Basically I suspected that she just wanted to make me feel good then cos she could have simply refrained from making a decision before I got back, but then I decided thereafter to just accept her reasoning and feel honoured about being so highly valued.

Life is wonderful indeed. lol.

Just moved back into hall a few days, and I was pleasantly surprised that my unpacking and clean-up only took around 3 hours, as I vaguely remember the first time I entered hall a year back, it took roughly 3 days. Quite an evident difference.

The initial excitement of having a personal space to call one’s own certainly led to me spending a lot of effort into planning the allocation of items into different areas and especially in the cleaning department. All the drawers, windows, walls, ceiling, and basically every nook and cranny had to be not only dust-free, but wiped with a wet disinfectant cloth. Even pulled down the roughly 5 by 5 m blinds to scrub, such was my thoroughness.

No wonder I incessantly heard comments about my perfectionist nature, I realized thereafter. I went minimalist this time round, doing away with the carpet, air cooler, novels, soft toys, ornaments and whatnot. But of course, the overall cleanliness was not compromised in any way whatsoever. That was the main reason I never considered double-sharing rooms. It is nigh impossible to find another guy that matches my standards. In tidiness and cleanliness, that is.

I guess I have to get used to the concept of having to divide my belongings into my two abodes. It sure is inconvenient to not be able to obtain a certain apparel when I go out from hall just simply because I left it at home. Furthermore, I won’t have the comfort of 2/3 bolsters in which to aid my precious beauty sleep. Troublesome, indeed.

But it’s worth the trouble. It will be. I wish it will. Hopefully.

Took my Psychology special term exam yesterday, and I’m appalled to say that I was actually smiling to myself during some parts of the exam duration because I was beyond despairing that I couldn’t answer some of the questions. Sighs. It really shouldn’t have happened. If only I had went for lessons conscientiously and put in regular revision hours. I can’t really blame my other commitments for weighing me down but then again I feel they were a considerable cause of all my distress.

My personal habit is to always sleep at least 8-10 hrs everyday and so I wasn’t surprised that I’d screw up the exam when I actually stayed up the entire night to peruse through the thick, imposing textbook. Damn sad. Oh wells, this’ll serve as a costly lesson to me the coming semester to not get distracted by too much enticing stimuli, just as I did in my first semester in university. It really does upset me considerably whenever I think about the stuff I perpetuated then in the endless pursuit of fun and joy. With my abysmal results, I virtually threw away any hope of getting a 1st class honours in the near future.

I then went home to catch a few winks before my camp outing at 7pm. One too many winks though, I must concur. Woke up at 7+ to my utter shock and disbelief. I was actually late! But after calming down considerably a few minutes later, I realized that I was rarely on time for anything anyways. So I happily proceeded to groom myself immaculately before hitching a car ride there.

It was a total fiasco. Firstly the meeting location was altered like ½ an hour before the meeting time. Then no-one really had any clear idea where to eat or what activities to participate in. And the entire group spent a considerable amount of time standing outside restaurants/arcades/pool alleys/Carrefour discussing what to do next, which wasn’t exactly helped by indifference on part of most members.

In fact the organizers of the outing seemed to change according to whoever had the initiative to suggest something viable. It ended with me leading the group to Paradiz for pool as no-one else supposedly had any idea on how to go there. I seriously prefer the idea of just lagging behind and going with the flow, at least on that evening in which fatigue ruled. Outings without prior planning are honestly fine with me but a substantial amount of spontaneity and initiative in the members must be present.

Left around 10pm to meet Xen pple for bowling at Marina. Obviously, I was late again, but it was only ½ an hour this time! I wouldn’t have known about it as I hadn’t gone for the past week due to exam preparation, so it was somewhat fortunate that I heard about it from the organizer whom I was happily sms-ing the day prior.

Really enjoyed the entire experience and it was invigorating to bowl with pple I normally acquaint more with on the dance floor. All the fun conversation and ridiculous antics at times also contributed to it being such a enjoyable night out. Yes, and it helps that the ladies are aesthetically pleasing too.

I was engaging in some contemplation during the bowling and I realized that I’ve really come a long way from the time I picked it up in Pri.5. From then till as late as last year, I’ve always been one that plays often but with abysmal scores and fundamentals, always focusing on the speed and weight of the ball more than the correct technique, always complaining about unsuitable ball fittings, lane conditions and whatnot.

It was really upsetting then when my dad frequently commented on our weekly bowling trips that I never seemed to have any potential in the sport, being unable even to consistently throw a straight ball down the lane. It was only until last year before I entered university that I engaged a personal coach for a couple of lessons, engaging in a complete overhaul of my footwork, swing, timing, body posture, finger positions, tension etc. It was a long and tedious process but it was all worth it for my dad’s compliments, a drastically higher average and a considerable crowd mingling behind me whenever I bowl.

Now off to pack up my luggage for the impending stay in hall. Again.

back in the 6th floor of the Science Lib once again, studying conscientiously. midterm on mon! somehow i feel i’ve lost the state of concentration that was oh so prevalent juz a few months back juz before the exams. oh wells. being involved in a myriad of activities and HAVING to reply to calls and smses now and then definitely does affect one’s focus. but at least this psychology mod is interesting enough to be able to delude myself that i’m learning something useful and intriguing.

those arts people realli do have it easier. even though the special sem covers the material in half the amt of time, the time i spend in lessons and prep work is barely half of what a typical science mod entails. furthermore the material is actually readable on the first attempt. i can’t imagine anyone except a rare few actually enjoying the pursuit for physics knowledge. oh! the woes of being a physics teacher.

sigh. it somewhat feels odd studying in an empty library with the occasional china PRC popping by. but then again u get to sit in whatever position suits you best without having to conform to annoying social norms. and i can’t stand my annoying perfectionist nature, spending like… 10 mins observing the lighting, direction of air-conditioner vents and arrangement of tables so as to determine the optimum spot at which to bask in for the next 5 hrs or so. i wouldn’t have this issue if there were actually anyone worth being self-conscious in front of tho.

and i seriously think studying lowers one’s aesthetic value. i mean, imagine a person hunching over his books 24/7, snacking now and then to keep up his morale, abandoning all his fitness programmes to free up time for studies. more input, less output, and hunched shoulders coupled with a paunch caused by slouching too much doesn’t do wonders for one’s appearance, not to mention the outbreaks caused by stressful conditions.

and i seriously can’t understand what those fatties out there are thinking. it’s realli uncomfortable sitting down with a paunch hanging over one’s jeans! they realli should lose some weight for health and comfort’s sake. me too

and i can’t believe i’m gg to be an OGL! even though i’ll be taking time off every morn for lessons and i’ll basically be mugging whenever activities permit, they actually accomodated me and made me one. i must have been a realli outstanding freshie in the camp the previous year i guess, hahahaha!

i guess my main role would be to assimilate them into the uni culture and make them feel comfortable throughout, not to mention create a atmosphere where fun is of the utmost importance. sigh. i hope i can do it la. i suspect my competitive side will emerge again and i’ll actually want to win everything instead of focussing on having fun.

still can’t forget the last camp where a few jokingly mentioned that it was kinda stressful being in my grp. and i was already trying to pretend that i din care abt the end-results! i’ve by now accepted the sad fact that i’m a totally open book to most people. but well, my grp did win nearly every game save the DUMB luck-based ones. i totally abhor those games and the concept of luck!

somewhat i also feel that the entire idea of knowing friends in uni camps is quite overrated. sure it’s nice to be able to ‘hi’ half the population in ur faculty and realli enjoy the company of friends during lessons and meals thereafter but.. hols are a different matter altogether. everyone’s busy with the friends who realli matter to them and have known half their lives. sure there’s the occasional outing but then it’s insufficient to constitute a true friendship. oh wells, but aside wanting to know more close friends, i seriously prefer also the company of my dear ol’ friends who between us know one another inside out.

i do actively try to build up good friendships tho, but it’s tiring having to explain myself esp to several members of the fairer sex that i’m NOT interested in anything other than a pure friendship. somewhat i believe there’s a fundamental problem in the way i communicate and relate to them. i dun fall in love easily, being a perfectionist and idealist and all. and when i do, sigh, i’m a real sucker. but let’s not touch on that very, very touchy issue.

i need to put aside some time to swim and gym - getting a lil’ flabby. hafta go get recipes for the baking lessons i’ve not been able to attend and need to get back on track with my bowling trgs and photography excursions. there’s so many books i want to read, and i’ve totally given up on learning a new language and brushing up on the guitar. this entire hols has been realli tiring indeed.