LwEi’s World

Took my Psychology special term exam yesterday, and I’m appalled to say that I was actually smiling to myself during some parts of the exam duration because I was beyond despairing that I couldn’t answer some of the questions. Sighs. It really shouldn’t have happened. If only I had went for lessons conscientiously and put in regular revision hours. I can’t really blame my other commitments for weighing me down but then again I feel they were a considerable cause of all my distress.

My personal habit is to always sleep at least 8-10 hrs everyday and so I wasn’t surprised that I’d screw up the exam when I actually stayed up the entire night to peruse through the thick, imposing textbook. Damn sad. Oh wells, this’ll serve as a costly lesson to me the coming semester to not get distracted by too much enticing stimuli, just as I did in my first semester in university. It really does upset me considerably whenever I think about the stuff I perpetuated then in the endless pursuit of fun and joy. With my abysmal results, I virtually threw away any hope of getting a 1st class honours in the near future.

I then went home to catch a few winks before my camp outing at 7pm. One too many winks though, I must concur. Woke up at 7+ to my utter shock and disbelief. I was actually late! But after calming down considerably a few minutes later, I realized that I was rarely on time for anything anyways. So I happily proceeded to groom myself immaculately before hitching a car ride there.

It was a total fiasco. Firstly the meeting location was altered like ½ an hour before the meeting time. Then no-one really had any clear idea where to eat or what activities to participate in. And the entire group spent a considerable amount of time standing outside restaurants/arcades/pool alleys/Carrefour discussing what to do next, which wasn’t exactly helped by indifference on part of most members.

In fact the organizers of the outing seemed to change according to whoever had the initiative to suggest something viable. It ended with me leading the group to Paradiz for pool as no-one else supposedly had any idea on how to go there. I seriously prefer the idea of just lagging behind and going with the flow, at least on that evening in which fatigue ruled. Outings without prior planning are honestly fine with me but a substantial amount of spontaneity and initiative in the members must be present.

Left around 10pm to meet Xen pple for bowling at Marina. Obviously, I was late again, but it was only ½ an hour this time! I wouldn’t have known about it as I hadn’t gone for the past week due to exam preparation, so it was somewhat fortunate that I heard about it from the organizer whom I was happily sms-ing the day prior.

Really enjoyed the entire experience and it was invigorating to bowl with pple I normally acquaint more with on the dance floor. All the fun conversation and ridiculous antics at times also contributed to it being such a enjoyable night out. Yes, and it helps that the ladies are aesthetically pleasing too.

I was engaging in some contemplation during the bowling and I realized that I’ve really come a long way from the time I picked it up in Pri.5. From then till as late as last year, I’ve always been one that plays often but with abysmal scores and fundamentals, always focusing on the speed and weight of the ball more than the correct technique, always complaining about unsuitable ball fittings, lane conditions and whatnot.

It was really upsetting then when my dad frequently commented on our weekly bowling trips that I never seemed to have any potential in the sport, being unable even to consistently throw a straight ball down the lane. It was only until last year before I entered university that I engaged a personal coach for a couple of lessons, engaging in a complete overhaul of my footwork, swing, timing, body posture, finger positions, tension etc. It was a long and tedious process but it was all worth it for my dad’s compliments, a drastically higher average and a considerable crowd mingling behind me whenever I bowl.

Now off to pack up my luggage for the impending stay in hall. Again.

back in the 6th floor of the Science Lib once again, studying conscientiously. midterm on mon! somehow i feel i’ve lost the state of concentration that was oh so prevalent juz a few months back juz before the exams. oh wells. being involved in a myriad of activities and HAVING to reply to calls and smses now and then definitely does affect one’s focus. but at least this psychology mod is interesting enough to be able to delude myself that i’m learning something useful and intriguing.

those arts people realli do have it easier. even though the special sem covers the material in half the amt of time, the time i spend in lessons and prep work is barely half of what a typical science mod entails. furthermore the material is actually readable on the first attempt. i can’t imagine anyone except a rare few actually enjoying the pursuit for physics knowledge. oh! the woes of being a physics teacher.

sigh. it somewhat feels odd studying in an empty library with the occasional china PRC popping by. but then again u get to sit in whatever position suits you best without having to conform to annoying social norms. and i can’t stand my annoying perfectionist nature, spending like… 10 mins observing the lighting, direction of air-conditioner vents and arrangement of tables so as to determine the optimum spot at which to bask in for the next 5 hrs or so. i wouldn’t have this issue if there were actually anyone worth being self-conscious in front of tho.

and i seriously think studying lowers one’s aesthetic value. i mean, imagine a person hunching over his books 24/7, snacking now and then to keep up his morale, abandoning all his fitness programmes to free up time for studies. more input, less output, and hunched shoulders coupled with a paunch caused by slouching too much doesn’t do wonders for one’s appearance, not to mention the outbreaks caused by stressful conditions.

and i seriously can’t understand what those fatties out there are thinking. it’s realli uncomfortable sitting down with a paunch hanging over one’s jeans! they realli should lose some weight for health and comfort’s sake. me too

and i can’t believe i’m gg to be an OGL! even though i’ll be taking time off every morn for lessons and i’ll basically be mugging whenever activities permit, they actually accomodated me and made me one. i must have been a realli outstanding freshie in the camp the previous year i guess, hahahaha!

i guess my main role would be to assimilate them into the uni culture and make them feel comfortable throughout, not to mention create a atmosphere where fun is of the utmost importance. sigh. i hope i can do it la. i suspect my competitive side will emerge again and i’ll actually want to win everything instead of focussing on having fun.

still can’t forget the last camp where a few jokingly mentioned that it was kinda stressful being in my grp. and i was already trying to pretend that i din care abt the end-results! i’ve by now accepted the sad fact that i’m a totally open book to most people. but well, my grp did win nearly every game save the DUMB luck-based ones. i totally abhor those games and the concept of luck!

somewhat i also feel that the entire idea of knowing friends in uni camps is quite overrated. sure it’s nice to be able to ‘hi’ half the population in ur faculty and realli enjoy the company of friends during lessons and meals thereafter but.. hols are a different matter altogether. everyone’s busy with the friends who realli matter to them and have known half their lives. sure there’s the occasional outing but then it’s insufficient to constitute a true friendship. oh wells, but aside wanting to know more close friends, i seriously prefer also the company of my dear ol’ friends who between us know one another inside out.

i do actively try to build up good friendships tho, but it’s tiring having to explain myself esp to several members of the fairer sex that i’m NOT interested in anything other than a pure friendship. somewhat i believe there’s a fundamental problem in the way i communicate and relate to them. i dun fall in love easily, being a perfectionist and idealist and all. and when i do, sigh, i’m a real sucker. but let’s not touch on that very, very touchy issue.

i need to put aside some time to swim and gym - getting a lil’ flabby. hafta go get recipes for the baking lessons i’ve not been able to attend and need to get back on track with my bowling trgs and photography excursions. there’s so many books i want to read, and i’ve totally given up on learning a new language and brushing up on the guitar. this entire hols has been realli tiring indeed.